Estimated Reading Time: 5 minutes
In This Issue:
1. What I saw backstage in Ottawa this weekend
2. Why "don't mess up" makes you mess up
3. The FLIP Framework (takes 2 minutes, works every time)
Estimated read time: 3 minutes
1. What I Saw Backstage
I just got back from hosting dance competition in Ottawa. (High-five if you were there!) Backstage was the same story on repeat: Talented dancers with good technique, legit spiralling before they went on stage.
"I'm gonna mess up… What if I forget... Mom is watching..."
The gap wasn't technical, it was always mental. So I spent the weekend doing quick triage, and giving pre-performance pep talks using this framework I've been refining for years.
Result? They performed better! And one dancer actually became a title winner! Here's what I did...
2. Why “Don’t Mess Up” Doesn’t Work
SCIENCE: Your brain doesn't process negatives.
When you say "don't mess up," your brain only hears "mess up." When you say "don't forget," your brain focuses on forgetting. Pretty interesting, huh?
It's like the pink elephant problem. If you tell someone: "Don't think about a pink elephant" That's all they can think about.
(See? You imagined one right now)
So when a dancer walks on stage thinking "don't mess up," their brain is now laser-focused on… you guessed it: messing up. You can't tell your brain what NOT to do. You have to tell it what TO do.
Fun fact: I’m still working on this with my son. As a parent, you have to make a deliberate, conscious effort to NOT default to “don’t do” something. Anyway, read on…
3. The FLIP Framework
This is exactly what I used backstage. Four steps, two minutes, and so far it works every time:
F = Find the loop
"What are you thinking about right now?"
Reveals the spiral: "Don't mess up, don't forget, don't fall, etc"
L = Last success
"When was the last time you nailed this dance?"
Anchors to competence. Reminds their brain: You've successfully done this before.
I = Identify the feeling
"How did you feel when you did it well?"
They'll say something like: proud, confident, powerful, free, happy... That's the target.
P = Perform from that
"Walk on stage starting with THAT feeling."
Not "don't be nervous." THAT is an instruction your brain can't follow. THIS is.
That's it, that’s all I do:
1) Find the loop. 2) Last success. 3) Identify the feeling. 4) Perform from that.
About the Title Winner: Backstage in the wings, she was convinced she'd forget some of her choreography. "Last time I messed up a section."
You know that glossy eyed look when someone’s about to cry…
I walked her through FLIP. Found the loop. Anchored to her last clean run. Identified the feeling (“proud, felt good”). Told her to walk on stage with THAT. She crushed her contemporary AND lyrical solo. Cue happy tears, and fast forward: Title winner!
Did FLIP do that? Maybe. Maybe not. But here's what I know: She walked on stage with different energy than she had literally two minutes before. From "I'm going to mess up" to "I've done this and I felt amazing."
That shift is trainable. And it works for anyone performing under pressure. Presentations. Pitches. Sales calls. Leadership moments. Anytime your brain starts spiraling, FLIP it.
Try It This Week
Use FLIP this week with your dancers, your team, and yourself. Next time you catch someone in the "don't mess up" loop, walk them through it:
Find the loop. Last success. Identify the feeling. Perform from that. Let me know how it goes.
If you know a tap dancer who wants technical skills AND mental performance tools like this that WORK under pressure, my summer intensive is happening in Kingston (July 31-Aug 2) and Airdrie (Aug 7-9). Three days. 20 spots per location. Get info here
You can do hard things!
- Shawn B
P.S. Your brain can't follow "don't." Give it something it CAN follow. Today’s newsletter gives you an exact solution you can use right away.
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ABOUT THE SHUFFLE
Welcome to The Shuffle, where performers, teachers, leaders, and parents come to build unshakeable confidence. You're here because you care about more than just showing up; you care about showing up well.
I started this newsletter with one mission: to teach confidence like a skill. Because when people believe they can do hard things, everything changes. Their performance improves. Their leadership deepens. Their impact grows. Together, we're creating a ripple effect of confidence that extends far beyond the stage, the classroom, and the boardroom.
So if this fires you up, don't keep it to yourself. Forward these emails to someone who needs to hear it. Let's remind people everywhere that confidence isn't something you're born with, it's something you build. One hard thing at a time.