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The Backstage Story I Can’t Stop Thinking About

What's poppin!
I'm just back from Ottawa, and I've got one story I can't stop thinking about.
There was a tap dancer backstage. Beautiful mover, someone I've watched grow up through this competitive dance industry over the years. This was her last competition of the season, possibly one of her last competitions ever... And she was in her head.
Her last run didn’t go the way she wanted, so she was carrying that into this one. I could see it, and I walked over right away. I didn't want to talk about steps. I didn't want to talk about what the adjudicators might be looking for, or what she did wrong last time, or what she needed to fix, because none of that mattered in that moment.
I asked her one question: "How do you want to feel when you walk off this stage?"
She thought about it for a second… "Proud. Happy."
I said, "Perfect. That's it. Those are the only two things you're bringing on stage with you today." That's all we talked about.
I announced her, walked to the wing, watched her CRUSH her tap solo, and we locked eyes when she walked off. I KNEW something was different! For the first time all weekend, she wasn't dancing for the judges. She was dancing for herself.
I jumped up and down (and screamed like a kid surprised with a new puppy) by the end of it! Full wings-dad energy. Couldn't help it! She walked off and saw my face before I could even say anything. Her eyes lit up.
She gave me the biggest hug! And of course, I asked her how she felt?
"So proud! So glad I was dancing for myself."
Mission accomplished.

Here's how this one question helps you, this week specifically:
Your dancers are at competition right now, or they will be in the next two weeks. Some of them are carrying a bad run from last weekend. Some of them are carrying WAYYY more than that, things that have absolutely nothing to do with dance at all.
(I know this to be sad yet very true) and we can see it in how they move.
You don't need a long conversation. You just need ONE question:
"How do you want to feel when you walk off this stage?"
Let them answer. Then tell them to start there.
That's the whole job backstage. Not fixing technique. Not managing nerves with a checklist. Just helping them find the feeling they're chasing and letting them carry it on with them.
Try it this weekend. I know first hand that it works, so I genuinely want to know how it goes with your teams. You can do hard things!
Shawn B
P.S. If you've got tap dancers in your life heading into summer, this one's for them. My intensive is in Kingston July 31-August 2 and Airdrie August 7-9. Three days of technique and the mental performance tools that actually work under pressure. I only have 9 spots left in Kingston and 5 remaining in Airdrie. These will go. Share this with your tap dance families, because an experience like this could genuinely change a dancer's life. Grab a spot here.
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ABOUT THE SHUFFLE
Welcome to The Shuffle, where performers, teachers, leaders, and parents come to build unshakeable confidence. You're here because you care about more than just showing up; you care about showing up well.
I started this newsletter with one mission: to teach confidence like a skill. Because when people believe they can do hard things, everything changes. Their performance improves. Their leadership deepens. Their impact grows. Together, we're creating a ripple effect of confidence that extends far beyond the stage, the classroom, and the boardroom.
So if this fires you up, don't keep it to yourself. Forward these emails to someone who needs to hear it. Let's remind people everywhere that confidence isn't something you're born with, it's something you build. One hard thing at a time.
